Me and the BOA

Most people don’t know — I didn’t until I sussed it out, poring carefully over my junk mail — about the demographic category known as pobchabom*. You won’t find it in standard reference books, or on wikipedia, but Bank (started to write Tank) of America has it on the books someplace.

    *pretty old, but could have a bit of money

Reason I know: BOA has been sending me detailed personal communiques. Well, they’re detailed as to what they offer, and they’re personal as to having my name and address correct. But what’s interesting is what’s inside.

Don’t go off in a snit because you haven’t received this offer. Just ask yourself whether or not you qualify as pobchabom. (Actually, I don’t either, which is why I had to offer BOA an alternative deal, as outlined below.)

Anyway, the offer is this. BOA wants me to open a savings account with them. Yes, you heard — well, read — correctly. A savings account. In times like these, a savings account. Wow, you may justifiably say to yourself about now. SOG really has an in with the high rulers. I mean, high rollers.

So here’s the offer they’re making me. Open what they characterize as a high-yield savings account, one which will pay — get this — .75 percent interest. Per annum. Yes, Bank of America is willing to pay me three full quarters of one entire percent annual interest on my savings.

Lessee. That works out to, hmm, around 75 cents a year for every hundred dollars. Put all my savings into BOA, and I’d rake in somewhere in the region of two and a quarter, maybe if things pick up two and a half dollars a year.

On the other hand, and this is what I decided to do instead, I could ask BOA if they would let me hold their money on similar terms. In short, if they want to borrow from me at .75%, would they reverse and give me a loan at .75%.

I sent their offer back with that counteroffer, but haven’t had an answer yet. I expect it’ll come in tomorrow, or next day.

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